At every stage of life, the friends we make are different. So when do we know it is time to move on?

Scabby knees, weird-fitting uniforms, mosquito bites on your cheek from wandering around the darker corners of the school taman (field) - and most of all, your bestest friend. As you two got into scrapes together, you had a whole future ahead of you, a whole future of 'when I grow up (s)' and years of eating cheap sweets from the pakcik (uncle) outside the school gates. At that time, it seemed that the friendship will never end.

Then high school happened.

Suddenly your interests have shifted - she's into lipstick, you're into books. He's into gaming at cybers, you're more an outdoors guy. While some friendships survive these changes (in fact, some thrive better on it), many don't.

And enter university: As your interests, priorities and values continue change, so does his/hers. Soon, you two have nothing in common except that you shared a bar of chocolate together ten years ago.

So how do you know when you've outgrown a friend? How do you tell when you cease to become a good friend, and are now a distant friend from another life instead? And, more importantly, how do you deal with that? Take this quiz and find out.

1) It's a weekend. You want to go out with your old high school friend, but...
A) You no longer have anything in common, and really - when you get together it is hard to find common ground.
B) You simply cannot decide where, and besides, he/she lives too far and you're not all that keen to drive to see him/her anyway
C) You are both not free, but you reschedule.

2) When you DO see each other, your conversations go like this:
A) Uhm. So what are you doing now? Really. Cool.
B) Did you like the new movie that just came out? I hated it. You liked it? Ah.
C) Is your mom better? How goes that horrible assignment?

3) These are the things you still know about your friend:
A) Where she/he studies now, where she/he lives.
B) His/her hobbies, his/her girlfriend/boyfriend, his/her newly renovated home address
C) Her/his favourite makan place, his/her two other close friends from university, his/her mom's recent surgery.

4) Spending one hour with him/her is like...
A) Having a lobotomy: Excruciating. Does nothing good for the brain.
B) A casual meet-up from time to time - you don't look forward to it, but it's okay.
C) It flies by! It's great fun still, after all these years

5) Is he/she on your 'Friends and Family' list?
A) No
B) Yes
C) Has always been, ever since the day we both got handphones

6) Describe your friendship...
A) Like a candle going out
B) A warm little fire
C) Strong as thick, dark coffee, and equally as enjoyable

7) You refer to him/her as...
A) 'went to the same school last time'
B) 'friend from school-days'
C) 'best friend'

8) In your memory, he/she is...
A) A distant figure from your past - you occasionally think about him/her, but only for a millisecond
B) A steady friend, though not as close as you used to be
C) The one who suffered through 'ketuk ketampi' with me and is still my fastest friend

Score:

Mostly A's: The friendship is dead. While it used to be 'me and you together', it is now 'who the heck are you?'. You've both changed so much over the years you don't even recognize each other anymore. Conversations are stilted, awkward, and the only thing you two can think to talk about is how things were in school, and frankly my dear, you don't wanna' give a darn anymore!

How to Deal: Death is inevitable, so let it be dignified: Send a greeting card once in a while, SMS to enquire about health every so often, and keep contact to a minimum. It's perfectly normal to outgrow a friend, and if it is mutual, both of you will be happier for it. However, if the other person is hanging on, a heart-to-heart talk is needed to clear things up. Also, use friendly but impersonal ways like Facebook messages or the occasional MSN-chat, but forget drinks in a mamak or weekend movie outings.

Mostly B's: The friendship is different, but not in dire straits. The once-in-a-month meet up is cool for the both of you. You're still in close contact, but it's never going to be a BFF-thing again.

How to Deal: Stay as you are. Things are casual but familiar and if both are happy, so be it. Just make sure it does not slip into Friendship Death.

Mostly C's: Kudos for staying fast friends, but Ouch to never changing from high school-mode! Growing up and maturing will always mean finding new friends and placing importance on different things than in high-school. While your friendship is alive, kicking and even possibly yodeling in joy, there is a fine line between hanging on to old days and appreciating a friendship.

How to Deal: Things are good, but do get out there and make new friends! Nonetheless, cheers to a long-lasting friendship: No man is an island, and where will we be without fast friends?